what really matters

Today has been a hard day for me physically.  One of those days when moving from point A to point B feels like climbing to the summit of Everest… for real.   I actually love documentaries or books about climbing mountains like Everest (survival stories) because for whatever reason, it just resonates with me — the tumultuous struggle toward the summit feels so familiar.  I think that might only make sense to someone who lives in chronic pain or has a chronic illness… or someone that has faced real tragedy or loss.  Or maybe we all understand that at some point in our lives… or many.  It’s just that place of rugged and raw survival… of telling yourself, “okay, all I have to do is make it to that next place…” and then repeating that same sentence to yourself over and over again as you make seemingly tiny little steps onward – enduring and pressing on toward what is before you.  Does that make sense? 

Anyway, I don’t know why I just said all that… long day I guess.

But in the midst of a long day, my heart was alive and encouraged.   The Lord gave me the gift of “perspective” today   A scene of ‘what really matters’ in the midst of a day that would test my endurance… and it was truly a gift.

Because I am just reminded again that even if my legs aren’t working the way I want them to, I can still experience something greater than physical strength… and that is Love.  I can rest in the love Jesus revealed once and for all of God’s heart when He came as a man, went to a Cross and rose again to draw us to His side.   I can drink deeply of the Spirit of Christ as He moves within my very own frame and reminds me who He is and what He’s like.  I can enjoy Jesus, for real, because my heart truly loves Him and fully belongs to Him (something that has not always been true, but I am ever so thankful that I can really say ‘I love You’ with my lips and mean it with all my heart).  I can close my eyes and listen to the Child, God in the flesh, speak to His earthly mother, “Did you not know I had to be in my Father’s house?” and my heart is gripped by the wonder of God as a child… and my imagination swims in thoughts of Him.  I can drink deeply of the Love of God poured out by the Holy Spirit and rejoice even in suffering because I have a Hope that will never disappoint… I have Jesus.   I am my Beloved’s and He is mine – and His banner over me is Love.

And then, I can hold my little 19 month old miracle in my arms as he tries to wrestle me to show his unwavering affections for his mommy and delight that somehow this little bundle of energy came from the glorious and God-given love between me and my husband.   God gave us a gift… two actually… well, multitudes actually… but one of them is this crazy thing called marriage and the other is children.   I am very aware as I look at my family that I am incredibly blessed.   Not a day goes by that I don’t feel gratitude in my heart for the gift of my husband and of Noah.   This week, Stephen showered his affection upon me and basically spoiled me rotten to celebrate my birthday (a week early because of classes)… and that was amazing.  I’ve got not just one or two, but FOUR dozen roses on my table as a mere token of how wonderful my husband is to me (and that is just the tip of the iceberg folks!)   But it’s not just the big things or a day of celebration, it’s the every day love Stephen shows both me and Noah that really matters.  I love my family… they are the joy of my life and the best part of me that there is in this life.   As I held Noah and cuddled with him before he went to bed tonight, tears were streaming down my face because I just could not contain the love I felt for him as he put one of his little hands in mine and the other on my cheek… oh, I love that little guy!!

It’s just an incredible gift to love and be loved… by Jesus, by our families, by friends.  And today, my body may be weak, but my heart overflows.   And that, my friends, is all that matters.

My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for He has been mindful of the humble state of His servant.  From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me – Holy is His name.  (Luke 1:46-49)