beautiful days

We are here in Colorado on our annual trip to the mountains… so LOVE it here.   This year, the Candlers are up here too for part of the time, which is simply the best.   Beautiful mountains, wonderful climate, favorite friends, and long days enjoying Jesus and each other… really, there is nothing better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noah and Fluffles hanging out in our room…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That would be Noah’s fake camera smile.   I love him… he’s such a trip.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The “back yard”, aka the forest of Breckenridge around 10,000 feet, at the house where the Candlers are staying this weekend.  Unbelievable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The kids had so much fun picking flowers and exploring, climbing and jumping… really endless adventures to be had when your backyard is a forest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Magnificent mountain Maddie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Best buds.

cute boys

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aren’t they the cutest little guys ever?!   Noah is on your left and David Cai is on the right.  They look like they are somehow related, don’t they?

my little contemplative and other news

I love these pictures because  I love this side of Noah.  He is a gazer, my little contemplative, and I love to see the wonder and intrigue in his little heart.  It’s amazing how certain aspects of our personalities are there right from the very beginning.  Noah has always quietly and purposefully observed the world around him – with a remarkable depth in his little gaze… oh to know what is swirling in his little heart and mind…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

And the wonder of it all almost always turns into overflowing joy… wonderfully contagious joy!  I love this little boy… he is the miracle and joy of my heart.  Can you tell?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In other news, the neurosurgeon appointment was moved up and so we saw him on Tuesday this week.   He is apparently one of the best neurosurgeons in the country, and he only sees patients on Tuesdays.  So that is probably why we had to wait five hours just to be seen.  The resident came in first, and he actually explained an os odontoideum for the first time, which was helpful.  Then we saw the neurosurgeon for what amounted to approximately twenty or thirty seconds total – during which time, I think I was first insulted and then told I needed to have a CT and come back.   To be fair, the resident tried to prepare us with a nice little disclaimer about his mentor - something about how great he was… world renown and so forth… thus, he doesn’t spend much time with patients and is very direct.  (Apparently, when you are that amazing, you don’t even need to talk to your patients anymore).    So I guess we should have been prepared for it, but it was still hard for both of us.   Afterwards, Stephen wrote a speech to the doctor in his head and I didn’t say much at all… until finally in the car, I just cried. 

I’m not sure why I cried to be honest.  The reason the doctor wanted me to have a CT is because he doesn’t think I even have the os odontoideum, which would be great news.   I think I’m just tired of doctors… and of feeling like we’re just running around in circles accomplishing almost nothing by seeing them.  I don’t have any delusions or false hope when it comes to medicine anymore.  I realize that it is what it is… sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t… and I know that doctors are just people with M.D. behind their names, far from the ’gods’ of our imaginations.   But it would be nice to have a doctor actually read through those papers they make you spend an hour filling out beforehand OR to sit down, ask you what is going on, and when you answer, LISTEN to what you have to say OR maybe, just maybe, remember as they are talking to you that you are someone’s wife, someone’s mother, someone’s daughter, someone’s friend… that the person sitting across from them could be someone they cared about and how would they want that person to be treated by the one they came to for help… is that too much to ask?

My rheumatologist is that kind of doctor.  The orthopedic surgeon that did my last hip replacement (for free because the Lord told him to)was definitely that kind of doctor — he was an incredible surgeon too so he was the whole package (he’s retired now sadly).   And really, Noah’s doctors are awesome too — pediatric doctors are usually great though.   But unfortunately, in my experience (which I think is pretty extensive for a thirtysomething year old), the good ones that are skillful physicians but still see a person sitting in front of them seem to be few and far between.   I’m grateful that the Lord has led us to some of the few though.   And truthfully, if I had to have a neurosurgeon (i.e. if I had to have brain surgery), I think I’d rather have the ‘world renown’ one with all his pomposity than the nice guy or girl that isn’t a good surgeon (not exactly the kind of surgery that allows for significant margin of error)… but wouldn’t it be nice if the “best” came with compassion… kind of like, oh I don’t know… the Great Physician (Who has every reason to boast, but humbled Himself that we would be healed).   Okay – sorry, just blog-venting… would that be ‘blenting’?

Anyway, today I had the CT, and in about a week and a half (the Tuesday after next), we see the nice doctor again.  And this time we’ll bring books and notepads and such to occupy the time during our wait… and hopefully, we’ll be better prepared for the twenty seconds with the doctor too.

I feel like I’ve been living in the reality of Mark 5:26-28 these last few months.  My Hope (capital H hope) is not in any doctor or medicine or anything this world has to offer.  It rests solely in that Man who was and is and will always be God walking through the crowds wearing His heart out on His sleeve.  If I touch even the hem of His garments…

More to come… another post soon.

child prodigies and credit “cars”

Okay, so I don’t want to be one of those people… but honestly, aren’t we all a little too impressed with our children?   That’s not a terrible thing… is it????

So here’s the deal… uh, hum hmmm… “why I think my child is a prodigy, by Karli Venable.”  You see, it’s just that lately my little Noah-bear has been overly impressing his mommy and daddy with his insanely creative imagination.  Now I’m not sure, but I think he’s a little “advanced” for his age… you know, maybe just a little bit  ”ahead” of his time  : )  (Hopefully you know I’m kidding… okay, well, maybe there’s just a teensy weensy part of me that is not totally kidding and might think my kid is kind of impressive at times… I gotta be honest.)   

Seriously though, Noah has been blowing me away lately with his little imagination.  The other night I gave him a bread stick that came in my salad and he instantly grabbed it and started running it up and down his high-chair saying, “vrooooommm” (that’s his car noise) and “go go go go car”, making it stop and go and spin around.   Another time last week, he was watching a praise video (Hillsongs kids praise – he has been entranced with this lately) and he lined up all his stuffed animals and made sure their eyes were so they could “see” the video too… then, he made them dance and raised their hands.   For a 2 and 1/2 year old or 3 year old, I would think this is totally normal… but I was so taken aback by it for some reason with my barely 2 year old boy.  It’s like all the sudden my baby boy, who has sat back and quietly watched the world around him for the most part, is exploding.  He was like a sponge taking it all in – and now we’re seeing all this creative energy bursting forth.   He surprises me every single day.

Tonight before he went to bed, he wanted to be with “mommmm” as he so affectionately refers to me these days.  So he sat on the bed with me and grabbed my wallet.  (It’s a sad, sad statement of things, but for a long time now whenever we go to the store, he likes to get the credit cards out of our wallet and swipe them in the machine.)  Anyway, he opened the wallet and started pulling the cards out one by one and then putting them all back in.   I have a pretty small wallet so he had to work at getting them to fit just right in their slots… and of course, being a toddler, he did it over and over and over and over and over and over… well, you get the idea.

After he did the whole taking them out and putting them back in again thing I don’t know how many times, he started taking the credit cards and “driving” them in… with his little “vroooommm” for each one… then he would close the wallet and say “cose da doors” and then open it and say “open” and drive the credit “cars” back in.  He was pretending the cards were cars and the wallet was a garage.    Isn’t that creative?   (Well, you know maybe not to you… but obviously, I really thought so.)  And these are just a few little examples that my brain can come up with at the moment — but they are only the tip of the iceberg.  It’s so fun to see Noah create and pretend.

And then, not to drive this prodigy thing into the ground but he then proceeded to tell me what color the different cards were.  He’s so great with his colors… has been for a while… but of course, it still impresses me every time as though it was happening for the first time.   He ended his performance tonight by grabbing the cards and feeding them to Fluffles (his lamb).   And he imitated the eating and biting sounds with his mouth… where did he learn that?!  I’m sure just by watching us do it with him, but still, it amazed me.

So yeah, maybe I’m just a mom who’s totally undone by her child and very easily impressed.  I think a little bit or even a lot of that is a good thing… as long as it’s not the out of control headline-making stuff that defines “those people” that none of us want to ever become.  (I have this sermon running through my mind of John Piper’s where he said that he never ever says that he’s “proud” of his children… overjoyed, undone, humbled… but not proud… not full of pride.)  Ouch.   That was one of those that just seems to stick with you… every time I want to say “I’m so proud of you,” I subconsciously change my words now… it means the same thing, maybe even more, if I say instead, “I love you so much… you amaze me in every way.”   

Noah also has a new found fascination with watching any kind of live music.  He LOVES the prayer room (online or in person).  Stephen took him a few weeks ago and when they were leaving, Noah let go of his hand and tried to escape back into the double doors into the prayer room and threw a toddler tantrum because he had to leave.  (I guess if your toddler is going to throw a tantrum, it’s nice that it is because he wants to go to the Prayer Room.)  And if we’re watching the prayer room online from home, he cries if we turn it off.   The other night I happen to have the tv on and the Country Music Awards were on one of the channels.  And much to his daddy’s dismay, Noah was completely enraptured by it.   He crawled up on my lap and while the songs were playing he took his little hands and kept a beat by hitting his knees.  It was SO cute that we suffered through country song after country song.  (I told Stephen Noah’s got some Texas country roots – what can I say : )  Now Noah brings me the remote control and taps his knees and asks for the music every time we’re downstairs because he thinks I can make it come back on.  So cute though.

One last Noah story and off to bed — last night, while we watched North Carolina basically pummel Michigan (who, by the way, I was rooting for — I am convinced that if you took my brackets and just picked the exact opposite of whatever I choose, you would go all the way)… anyway, she said with a hint of bracket bitterness in her voice, Noah was watching that Hillsong praise dvd again (on portable dvd) and Stephen walked into the kitchen and Noah was just standing in the middle of the kitchen with both hands raised in the air watching the dvd.  Oh, how I wished we caught it on camera… it was one of those moments you know you’ll never forget.  It was SO sweet.

Yes, my child impresses me every day.  And it isn’t pride either.  It’s unfathomable wonder that this little person came from inside me… awe that Stephen and I made a covenant before the Lord for forever and the Lord allowed us to become ‘people-makers’… and appreciation of the glory of the human frame and the unique soul of every individual that especially seems brilliant as you behold your child.   It’s utter humility… because I knew the minute I saw the little flicker of a pen point on a monitor and heard Noah’s tiny little heart beating in the same way that I know every day that I watch him grow and learn now that my God is a Master Craftsman and an Artist like no one this world has ever known, worthy of all my adoration… because I know that I am but a guide and a shepherd (no small job or title by any means), but I am not the Author or Perfecter of Noah’s life.   It is not me Who knows every hair on his head and every day of his lilfe before even one comes to pass… because though Noah came from me, I know he does not belong to me. 

The word prodigy means something inexplicable or something unusually marvelous and extrordinary… and so, I have to be honest and say that I do think Noah is a child prodigy… but it is not because of me or even because of Noah.  It is the handiwork of God that makes him so, and not just Noah, but every child… and not just children, but all of us.   Even me.  Even you.  You are inexplicably marvelous, because you are His.  How crazy and glorious is that?!  May you know the heart of the Father tonight as He rejoices over you with singing and gazes over the balcony of heaven with the undone heart that only a parent really understands (though only in part) at you, His inexiplicable treasure.

everyday miracle

First, please keep praying for Baby Stellan and for his family.  He has gone in and out of V-Tach today… there have been breakthroughs and setbacks, but God is on the move.  Keep praying. 

This week we are celebrating our Noah’s second birthday.  He had a little party on Sunday and then last night we had another sweet family time with just the three of us.  He is so cute… we have a bunch of helium balloons in the living room from his birthday party and every time we walk down the stairs and he sees they are still there, he grins from ear to ear because he understands now what birthdays are.

Somewhere in his toddler-hood, my little Noah-bear has stumbled upon a new sleep experiment where he wakes up every night in the wee hours wanting Mommy or Daddy to help his incredibly restless little self find a way to fall back to sleep.  One night a while ago, at about 2am, I heard his little voice and knew he was standing in his crib waiting.  My poor Stephen had the flu that week and had miraculously fallen asleep, and of course I was still up because of pain, so I snuck in there before the little voice became a big cry so it wouldn’t wake up Stephen. 

So there we were… me and my Noah meeting in the night again, his room lit up with blue little stars from the turtle light on his dresser.  When I walked in, he slipped back down into the crib, grabbed his friend Fluffles (his lamb), then reached his hand up until he found me and grabbed my hand and pulled it in his chest.   As I sat there with him, with his little fingers wrapped around mine, feeling his chest rise and fall with every breath… I felt that old familiar feeling that always feels brand new somehow, that I was witnessing a miracle.  

For the last few months, I have been pondering almost daily what a gift and a miracle, even a testimony of God that our little Noah-bear is to us.  Noah is in every way our “everyday miracle”… a shout from the Lord that He is real and He is with us.

I remember the first time I felt this way… it was on a summer day in 2003.  When I was about 6 weeks or so along, I started bleeding.  It was over a weekend, so when we called the doctor, she said to rest and come in first thing Monday.  It was a terrible and almost torturous wait.  Somewhere in the middle of the weekend, I remember sitting on my couch with tears streaming down my face and asking the Lord to help.  (Literally, the only word that came out of my mouth was “help”… sometimes that is all you have… sometimes the word doesn’t even make it out, it’s more of a groan.)  Anyway, Jesus was so kind… I was not alone… I had a Helper.  And He reminded me that at a real time, in a real place, God found His home in the womb of a woman.  He grew there… His heart of flesh beat for the first time… His very life was also sustained by the life of a young Jewish girl.   By His Spirit, Jesus reminded me that He was not far from the child in my womb… and was not far from the cries of the mother sustaining him.   God came near… oh the glory of the Gospel.

And on Monday afternoon a few days later, I experienced the first of many miracles.  I watched a little flicker within my child, only the size of a grain of rice himself, open and close, open and close… a heart beat the size of the tip of a pen.   It was only the first…

I remember the first time he got hiccups in the womb.  He used to get them all the time, and they would go on FOREVER… sometimes too long, but it was a miracle.  He still gives himself the hiccups when he laughs really hard.  So I like to think it was joy that caused him to “leap in the womb” with hiccups (smile).

Once when I was in my last trimester after a long hard day, I remember settling in for a nice long bath and while I was in the tub, Noah decided to have a little play time.  He moved around so much that there were actual waves in the bathtub and some of the water went over the edge.  I laughed and laughed.  It was atypical for him actually – it was one of the only times he moved that much and actually did what felt like somersaults in my belly.  As he has grown up, I think about that a lot because one of his gifts is making people laugh even when you are having a hard day.

Then one night, as I was sitting on the couch during March Madness enjoying an intense game between USC and North Carolina, it happened… what felt like a pop and then a flood.  (When I called Dana to tell her I was in labor, I said, without thinking, “Noah is coming and he’s coming like a flood.”  Very appropriately.)   Because of my joint disease, I had to have a c-section and it was scheduled for the next week.  But Noah and the Lord had different plans.  Stephen wasn’t home at the time, so I called him to tell him my water broke, and he said, “Are you sure?”  “Um, yes babe, I’m sure.”  That night is one of the only times in our years of marriage that I have seen Stephen kind of frantic… it was cute and almost comforting to see him “out of sorts” and for me to be the calm one.  I wanted to brush my teeth and fix my hair… all the while, he was panicked and running around because he was afraid I would go into labor and not be at the hospital in time for the c-section.  But we arrived in time, though my contractions were less than 2 minutes apart by the time we got there. 

And so it happened that at 1:33am, we met our miracle face to face.  The umbilical cord was actually wrapped around his neck three times, so it was God’s timing that he came when he did and how he did (by c-section)… another miracle.  I will never forget the sound of his cry – it was the most wonderful sound my ears have ever beheld.  

Noah is the joy of our lives.  From the day he was born until today, two years and one day later, his life has made us smile and laugh and cry with joy… our hearts overflow.  

Nowadays, he is truly a toddler.  Everything is a game.  He loves hide and seek with Daddy the most.  He smiles all the time.  And he talks about everything… sometimes we don’t totally get what he is saying as he spouts out paragraphs and stories for us, but he is very good at coming up with signs or ways to use body language to get his meaning across.  His first word, a long time ago, was ball, and really any type of ball – basketballs, soccer balls, or golf balls are his absolute favorite thing.   We have a basket full of about 30 different types of balls, maybe more.  And he has a golf set, a basketball goal, and a soccer goal (the latter he just got for his birthday), all of which he is quite accomplished at for a two-year old.  Noah is just a boy at heart… he loves sports and cars and trucks and tractors… but I would say that basketball might be his favorite (appropriately considering his birth during the NCAA playoffs). 

And one of my favorite things about him is that he is a contemplative at heart (or so it seems).  He takes time to take everything through careful observation… people, nature, and really anything around him.  He quietly observes and then engages.  It’s so interesting to watch because he learns so quickly and so surprisingly (sometimes we can’t even believe it)… and I think it has a lot to do with his watchfulness and intrigue. 

Anyway, I could go on for pages and pages about my beautiful little boy.   He melts my heart every day… when he wrestles me and gives me kisses on my forehead, when he does “fore-bumper, eye-winker, nose-smeller, mouth-eater” down my face and then tickles me and laughs, when he puts his hand on my head every night to pray for me, when I am not feeling good and he grabs my hand to lead me to the couch and then motions for me to lay down while he goes and gets a blanket to lay on top of me (he’s learned a lot from his daddy – he will be a good husband one day, that is for sure), when he walks up to me and Stephen and grabs both our hands to lead us somewhere because he wants us all to do something together, when he tries to make jokes by telling us one thing is something else and then giggles uncontrollably, when he turns on Shane and Shane cd’s and starts twirling around the room, how he wants everything to be clean and in order – he sweeps, takes rags to clean or scrub stuff, wants his hands clean, and puts things away all the time – so funny, and well, just because he is Noah and he is simply amazing.  

He is truly my everyday miracle… my constant reminder of the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living… and of the fearfully and wonderfully made gift of life.    Thank you Jesus for Noah.  I rejoice and celebrate the day he was born… we are so grateful, so profoundly grateful, for his every breath.

I will post birthday photos later this week, hopefully.

haircuts, picnic tables, and slides… oh my

A Noah Photo Update…

Here he is a couple weeks ago all bundled up for winter.   I think he’s so cute in that hat and coat.

Sunday, Noah had his first “official” haircut.  My mom and I tried to trim his hair a few months ago, but it didn’t really amount to much.  It was hard to do and I was afraid of cutting off his curls.   But as you can kind of see from the picture below, his hair was getting out of control.

This is a before the haircut shot (though you can’t really tell how long it was, but oh well).  He was being a ham for the camera.

This was during the haircut.   He was a bit scared, so Daddy had to hold him.   Noah is pointing to the boy next to him who was  getting his hair shaved off because he had taken the scissors and cut a hole in his hair pretty much to the scalp.  (Poor mom.  She said they were having pictures done this week… yikes.)

Post haircut shot.   As you can see, there was apparently no danger of losing the curls. 

He got to pick out a toy from the place before we left and of course, he picked out a ball.  He played with it all day.   In the car, he would throw it and say, “go go go,” “ball,” “bouce.”  And for the last two days, when we ask if he likes his haircut, he pulls his hair, smiles and says “da dut ball!”   (translation:  Yeah, I got a hair cut and they gave me a ball!!!)

At the park… after haircut treat.

Noah got a new picnic table from TuTu and Grandpa Gere this week too.  He was very excited.  The above is while he was helping Daddy build it.

Giving it a test run.

The finished product.   It’s so cute.

The weather has been so nice for the last few days, and the medicine that I’m getting through the patch is helping a little bit.  (It goes up and down… still trying to adjust).  But yesterday, I was able to be outside for a while… which was wonderful.  Noah just wanted to sit with me (he’s got a cold so he’s a little more cuddly)… so we sat in the sun for long time.   It was dreamy : )

thanksgiving

Here are a couple of Thanksgiving photos… for some reason, most of the ones I took with our camera didn’t turn out well.  

This is us down at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore… not a great picture, but you get the idea   We had fun… and we ate some AMAZING seafood (something you don’t experience much of when you are landlocked in the Midwest).

Stephen and his beautiful sister, Katherine, at Phillips in the Inner Harbor.

Stephen’s dad, Sid, and step-mom, Judy… same place, same time…

Daddy and Noah.

I just think this picture is funny.  Noah wanted to eat a lemon… thus, the “sour” face.  It was pretty funny.  He’s an expressive little guy.

Noah with his GREAT Granddaddy and Grandmommy on Thanksgiving Day.  He’s blowing a kiss.  So cute.